Conversations With My Unborn King

My young king, I can't wait to see what you will bring /
Your arrival will be a world exclusive, as it's been elusive... /
In the journey through my past, so to my future I'll be headed  /
Your presence will represent the pinnacle of my life pyramid... /
The ultimate result of my life's ponzi scheme, realised! /
You will be the beginning of the future, the blueprint volume 2 part 1... "Life and times of Kevin Mutembei the 1st" of my kind. /
Volume 1 is you're sister... "The Queen" who arrived / before you...
"YOU" I could have had three times before  but thrice "YOU" we killed... , /
Me and K & S & V conspired... , /
Agreed and disagreed... to see you disappear, we connived... /
Ripped you to death before your heart beat ever dropped, /
Repealed, revoked, reversed before you arrived..., /
Destroyed your vessel before you boarded... /
And for that... I'll forever regret!!! At times, to times past I've  regressed..., /
But in time I realised that to progress I can't change what's passed... /
But unequivocally to your spirit I apologised, /
And will continue to be unrelenting in my prayer for forgiveness!!!
For years, my life I hated, haunted and halted, /
Truly your arrival one could say for me it's undeserved, /
As too many times your trust I've destroyed, /
Why would you set out again on this journey so wretched, /
When again and again I've shown can't be trusted??? /
Then and before I've ruined your dream of life with little or no remorse... , but in time I've regretted! /
I AM SORRY SON!!! I AM SORRY SON!!! Hope you forgive your dad for ignorance ingrained, / So deep and selfish immaturity... Always took, took, took but to give back... back then I never committed... /
One too many times I've murdered... /
I was guilded, /
A childish fool - please understand my lessons I've now heeded, /
Your sister in me she trusted, /
With all my errors and misgivings, her gift of life she offered me...
And through that lifeline I named / her "LIFE" and everyday since 3 years I've given and guided her life!!! /
She's the reason I've never complained, but always complained... /
Reason I'm always doing, always building... always guided, /
By her spirit as she's rays of sunshine after days of moonshine! /
I can't wait for your arrival so I can meet you, speech you and reach you, /
Teach you to tie your laces, show you how to make faces, /
Take you places, open cases and dresses, /
Show you how to avoid cases and remain nameless, /
Show you life skills, avoid hype shit and dumb chicks, /
Them chicks that give it up to you if you're rude to them, hood to them or good to them... /
You don't have shit to prove to them /
Them being the world and it's mum  /
You mum and I... will love you regardless /
No matter the madness your highness... You'll always remain my young King.

Kevin Mutembei
August 2017

Open letter to my exes

This is an open letter to my exes / 

Hope you accept apologies given in excess / 

Once prophesied Endless Love, like Luther Vandross /

It was never to much, didn't wanna stop, thought we were timeless 

Like a roley... this lover coaster seemed priceless / 

Dipped down too many times, climbing up was relentless /

Took too long to shine light on this process - 

Took even longer to accept it was madness / 

Doing same things twice and again with no progress / 

Ignoring facts accepting fiction, the friction kept us moving / 

Admit I felt fearless 

When wading through the darkness /

But in the dark there's never more that's real than dullness / 

All you feel is the mindless 

Need to feed your ego so mindless-ly / 

Turning a blind eye, blind less-ly towards everything, selfish-ly 

bringing countless fights home... Home couldn't deal with, I brought nothing but sadness / 

Unfortunately... Might've seemed pensive, but trust me I was clueless / 

Wasted too much time with the bullshit I was bullish, foolish / 

Aggressively shoving, forcibly loving, elbows throwing it was pointless / 

Lifeless, life loss and time loss / 

Lost trying to find way in darkness 

With no guidance, spirit lost, tipping aimlessly on edge of madness /

So now when I look back then, all I see is the dumbness / 

It's so deafening how I dealt with situations - it's speechless /

And it's clear how I encouraged so much distress 

To develop, its so fucked up just how useless 

I became, but pretended it was all bless / 

Gave a platform to the mistress 

It's disturbing how you witnessed / 

Witnessed my absentia, inertia in my actions, I was careless / 

Would care to see you less 

Yet found issues with the issues that surround us 

At the time all my focus was to fi-ness / 

Guess in a word, to define it would be heartless / 

So I'm sorry, hope those words bring some comfort, 

Hope it eases your mind, brings your heart freedom 

Breaks the shackles that dragged you down /

I'm sorry for leaving with the scent of 1 million, returning smelling like lady million, 

Guilty of having a million at home but chasing delusions and craving opinions/ 

Delusions of grandeur, to be honest I was really deluded /

Since that time I pray you have regressed / 

Backwards to old versions that were precious / 

To a time I recall you were stressless 

As much as you were selfless / 

Before I came and offered but to depress 

I now subscribe to a life that brings less stress / 

Please know I've moved to life's next phases / 

And even though you and I no longer see faces / 

And with our bodies, no longer are we reckless / 

In your mind hope you forgive me for my weakness / 

Sorry for the others I was chasing so relentless / 

For those places I had sessions /

Whilst not lying on my missus 

But was lying to my missus / 

For creating all that crisis / 

For times I was defensive yet all the time was defenceless / 

I'm sorry, for the rejects I said yes to, refused 

To say no to, agreed to be foolish and refused 

To defuse them / 

Instead I just used them / 

Playing primates in their privates / 

In the process it so obvious, I neglected 

To respect you, your respect I disrespected, disconnected and disregarded / 

Your love I should have guarded, should have sheltered, should have carried 

On my shoulders I was childish, I was selfish, I was blinded / 

Treated you like a value meal when you I should have valued 

Your love back then should have valued / 

But please know I've grown now, I'm determined / 

Like fine wine I'm refined, defined 

Full of character, so sublime, like Chianti not unbalanced 

In a cycle so destructive it was busted /  

I've moved on and I'm writing some new chapters  /

Through the grief I've suffered stages 

7 times but now I've broken all the cages / 

It's took ages / 

To redeem, gain reprieve and forgiveness 

Of my mind, of my heart, now I've found my senses / 

I acknowledge my position in this war of attrition / 

You and I... I don't miss / 

Well, maybe I'd be (somewhat) remiss 

If I didn't admit that sometimes I reminisce /  

At times I do wish / 

Mainly when I feel fiendish / 

And I know it sounds childish 

It's funny though how these things flourish / 

It's like a fetish how I relish / 

To feel you next to me, it's almost devilish / 

Back to this story, if you listen I've said sorry / 

Now allow me to build storeys for the idea in my story / 

l remind you as a Queen, never take stories / 

Don't ever settle or accept less, lest 

These Jokers convince you they are Kings /

These clowns will meddle with the crown /

No respect having jesters with little loyalty for royalty 

Courting controversy, callously without concern or commitment / 

Intent on meddling with, not mending your broken heart /

Unfortunately we couldnt last the time past / 

The present is a gift so I wish you well as we part / 

I hope on this lane you continue to dart / 

But please make sure you stay alert / 

These suckers feel no way to drain your mind is some part / 

Break your will and take you heart and mind apart / 

Like petrol in a diesel, these suckers will defile, force a stop you can't restart / 

So here's a jumpstart / 

Begin a new chapter, full of laughter / 

Blank is the canvass, your the painter / 

And although a restart / 

I can't promise that it won't hurt / 

Just remember love is war be sure you do fight. 

Kevin Mutembei 

March 2017

My Brother

My brother...
My brother who's not from my mother but, He's still my brother!
My brother whose mother knows my mother,
My brother whose mother I call mother; but though my blood he's not... he's still my brother!
I wonder, why? With your child you don't bother...
Why my brother... you bother with others seeds yet your seed is all alone my brother...
Why you let the mother play both roles
Role playing daddy and mummy while you don't bother? My brother... She's mother and father to your seed... My brother!
His mother the boy sees as amazing mother - supermum with an M on her chest while 

You're outchea finessing, pulling down another dress, look at this mess, but
You my brother, are hardly around to matter you muthafu......!
Yet to you it doesn't matter because his mother does her dues
Oh why you won't bother with the young dude my brother?
Trust me my brother, your time is over due
And the spirit of the boy it bothers if only you could see my brother!
But my brother,
You surround yourself with bother that blinds you,
And, further binds you my brother as
You bother more with the needs of others, Than being a father! My brother...
Laughter...
You cackle as you hustle and haggle with these others to further (your)
Plight my brother; but you miss what's right as a father should do
My brother...
Your mother taught you better I am sure
My brother...
Even your father before you, he went further... did further
My brother... Than you do now as a father; oh how it bothers me
My brother...
My brother...
My brother...
Pray the boy grows up to be a better father than his father and grandfather
My brother, I pray he furthers your name better than his father did
My brother...

Kevin Mutembei
March 2015

Journeys Of The Mind

These things I've seen - places I've been
They might seem surreal to you - unreal as
I reveal... Though it may seem trivial I see! Trivia and games people play with lives and wives of others... Not bothered they seem!
Trials of teens and dreams of scenes
Believe I've seen, dreamed and been,
Further than the moon you see
And back; back to back trips but
I lacked perspective back when on this
Trip I first set... Tripped on false tips,
Stumbled on false highs and was
Dipped in ditches that required stitches!
Witches had my mind set in the wrong, Set
On gaining rather than over standing - firm.
Set on derailing self instead of standing
Strong mentally - over pedestals and stools
That will stand for ages like pages
From old volumes; tools used for ages to
Conquer over pagans, sages and
Savages in caves and curators of peace!
We may sing freedom but minds sit trapped
We crave for stillness from this illness but;
Still racists rave on
Still haters remain strong
Still generations we destroy
Still slaves we create!
To date;
I'm amazed by these ways for sure,
But surprised no more for sure.
The prize is no more for sure.
The price is zero for sure.
I'm sure the cure will come but for now
These games we continue,
These lives remain as they know
But the "now" is but a short gap in time -
The journeys of my mind continue in time
This chapter is to be continued in time.

Kevin Mutembei
February 17th 2015

Life: Living, Starring, Present.

Time is a mission 

Love goes missing 

Brain keeps freezing 

As my heart slows beating! 

Life is not the vision 

I once envisioned - something 

Far different from this script - reading 

Lines I've been re-learning 

Starring...major scenes enacting 

Into my abyss - staring 

Camera never stops rolling 

Lessons I've been doubting 

Experiences feeling foreign 

Call me Mr Trueman 

Cos this live show is lacking 

Substance and meaning 

My life keeps rolling 

This roller coaster keeps twisting 

As the reigns keep slacking 

My sense of being I keep redeeming 

Trying to regain and remain 

Again... 

Restarting, rewinding, reminding 

As my true essence I keep revealing 

I'm swinging 

Punches thrown at life - reeling 

Caught with an upper-cut, spinning 

Knees buckling... Swaying 

But still standing! 

Never falling! 

Still fighting! 

I'm winning though sinning 

But who's counting... 

The score; who's keeping? 

Life doesn't stop throwing 

It doesn't stop pitching 

Doesn't stop shooting 

Driving and forward pushing

It's never stopping 

It's never dying...

So why stop blocking? 

Why stop catching? 

Why stop ducking and rolling? 

Why stop reverting and reversing? 

Why stop moving? 

Why stop living? 

Are you in the present life living? 

Or featured in a future showing? 

K. Mutembei

April 2014

Take your stand / social media

Rocking 6 inch platforms 

You stand as you take your stand 

Up on this platform you erected 

To discuss your disgust 

Perform your reform 

For your faithful audience. 

Conference when you confess 

Your media awaits - 

Your claim of social discourse 

Soon you'll realise there's nothing 

Social about social media 

Your audience laments at your 

Attempts so audaciously shocking 

As displayed by the media via 

The medium you employ 

Little do they all know it's a ploy 

To deploy deplorable thoughts 

So their feelings can implode 

As your feelings you impose. 

Surrounded by your bullshit 

Engulfed by your self-worth 

Your audience encourages 

Your lack of individuality 

A copy of a photocopy of a scan 

Your JPEG is a still image - frozen 

In time yet your mind believes 

Yesterday is today and tomorrow 

Is always another day, a new dawn 

Your fawn gains no fans, 

You frown at the lack of empathy 

For your pathetic self promotion. 

One step forward, 5 back toward 

The foreword that spells the end 

In the end an ear who will lend 

Defend your deafening key strokes 

Who will to your sermons about 

Serpents and their lies while you

Lie through stroked keys and reposts 

For likes and comments that lack 

Common sense but spell nonsense 

Your audience awaits your updates! 

K. Mutembei 

2014

Check mate! Game over!

Check mate! Game over!
******************************

Check mate! Game over!
I play "mates" with my play-mate,
Eating dates on late night dates,
Fatefully searching my fate...
Still chasing my date with destiny.
Defying the destined destination.
The density of this chemistry between her and I is archaic,
My eyes cannot believe, thoughts could not conceive
Past ways had to yield and concede
Finally believe from my deeds
I'm not too manly to be a man
A real man, reel the bait in
Caught the real one
Made me a new man

I wanted you physically not mentally
Not permanently
Just temporarily
Definitely not spiritually
Though the deed itself is actually
An action so beautiful and undeniably
Spiritual

The tag on the motions of my emotions
Is too costly to not be ghastly!
And although I'll play tag,
Thoughts jet through as my mind lags

And although I struggle to stay humble
Mind rumbles as thoughts tumble
"Be humble" my spirit says,
I'll stay in my lane - thoughts I tame
Doesn't mean I'm lane or maim

Give it time and when your time ceases
We'll decode if the decadence
Of your discourse still lives in a decade!
Yes, I'm a headache! 
Your consciousness rearing it's head
And the truth still you dread
You've been misled!

Snake filled fields I tread through,
Too familiar with this path
Highway to my destiny they tell
'Highway To Hell' replays in turn
Take the wrong one; pop the wrong
Pill ; Blue or Red Mr Anderson?
Fake or real? Harsh or soft?

We all worry about the same things
But never say a thing to solve things! 

Common sense is not common but 

Like my man Common says: 

"...Freedom is an unspoken sound and
a wall is a wall it can be broken down"

But the hypocrisy of our actions keep us 

Acting as stars in our own flicks - fickle minds 

And mine is no different to be relevant 

But as this epiphany takes hold, 

In my mind, I eloquently vow to be bold! 

This unsung melody I'm never too old

The canary in me cannot be tamed 

I maintain and my wings I finally flap 

Game over as my mind becomes sober

The poison of self doubt I conquer 

This game has run it's course 

The end is also the beginning

Check mate! Game over!